DS Cohen & Associates
Most organizations believe behavioural interviewing is just about asking the right questions. My experience says otherwise; it’s really about asking questions that do not quietly sabotage the answer.
We all know the classics:
- “Tell me about a time you handled conflict.”
- “Describe a difficult decision.”
- “What is an example of a time you received criticism?”
In theory, these are good questions. In practice, they often fail to generate behavioural responses that reveal whether a candidate acted in alignment with your organization’s values, judgment, and role requirements. The problem is not the opening line. It’s what comes after it.
This is based on something I constantly see in interviews. The questions most frequently used are often the least informative ones. Not because they are poorly worded, but because they trigger rehearsed stories or hypothetical answers. Instead of reflection, they encourage performance. As a result, the interviewer never truly understands how the candidate acted in a specific, recent situation. The interviewee has practiced this – “Oh, I know this one!”, they say to themselves.
Two questioning habits are especially damaging in behavioural interviews. The first is asking “What?” The second is to use closed-ended confirmation questions.
Let’s start with “What?”
Interviewers use “What” because they believe it uncovers motivation. In reality, it usually does the opposite. “What” puts candidates into speculation mode. It subtly signals judgment and causes the candidate to adjust their choice rather than help the interviewer understand their thinking. It also invites speculation. Based on their understanding of the company, the candidate begins to guess what the correct answer should sound like and weaves that into their response. They answer to the question, not their experience.
A well-designed behavioural question is not actually a question. It is an interrogative statement that ends with a period, leaving interpretation and structure to the candidate. The interviewer allows the candidate to tell the story without direction. Only after the response is complete should the interviewer probe further into the circumstances and factors that led the candidate to act as they did.
When “What” is embedded in the initial question, candidates do not tell you what they actually thought or felt at the time. They tell you what sounds reasonable based on their perception of what you want to hear.
Misusing Probing Questions
Closed confirmation questions are even more deceptive. Prompts such as:
- “What did you do?”
- “Would you do the same thing again?”
- “Looking back, was that the right approach?”
These all feel conversational, but they actually shut down learning. These questions encourage candidates to summarize, justify, or agree rather than describe what really did happen. The result is surface-level alignment with the interviewer that hides how the person actually behaved. But you are not looking for agreement. You are looking for insight.
The Secret Sauce
One of the keys to successful behavioural interviewing is not only asking the properly-worded question, but also remaining silent after asking it. Allowing the candidate to reflect and draw from their authentic experience. Silence makes people uncomfortable and affects the candidate, prompting them to respond. Thirty seconds is usually all it takes.
Conclusion
Great behavioural interviewing is not about hearing polished, preplanned answers. It is about creating conditions where candidates do not feel the need to perform. When interviewers avoid confirmation-seeking questions, something shifts. Candidates stop selling and start sharing. They begin explaining rather than defending.
Based on how someone has recently acted on the job, not on how well they interview, is the way to accurately understand one’s fit to your company’s culture.
David S. Cohen is the author of “Selecting the Best: Fostering a Workplace Driven by Values for Lasting Success,” amplifies each of the points of this article using a combination of research and anecdotal stories. The appendix contains sample behavioural interview questions. Selecting the Best is available on Amazon and other online book sellers.
